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Actual Road Signs

At truck stops throughout the country: Eat here and get gas

In a Florida maternity ward: No Children Allowed

In a toy department: Five Santa Clauses -- No waiting!

On the wall of a Baltimore estate: Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.-Sisters of Mercy

In a funeral parlor: Ask about our layaway plan

In a New Hampshire jewelry store: Ears pierced while you wait

In a Pennsylvania cemetery: Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.

On a Tennessee highway: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.

On a roller coaster: Watch your head

On a radiator repair garage: Best place to take a leak.

On a New York convalescent home: For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church

In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.

Outside a country shop: We buy junk and sell antiques.

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