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Signs You're Not Cut Out to Be in Customer Service

"IRS Help Line. Ha ha ha haaaaaaa! That gets me every time. What's your question?"

"You paid for this with a Visa card, right? Whoa! Check it out -- I have the card number right here!!"

Repeated failure to grasp the distinction between serving the customers and servicing them.

When customers ask why their heating bills have increased 40% this year, you helpfully explain that the company needs to build up a legal reserve fund for its executive team.

You answer the phone using the voice of Inspector Clouseau.

You were the only employee mentioned by name when K-Mart filed Chapter 11.

"Welcome to Burger King's pickup window. Thank you for not trying to squeeze your fat Whopper-fed ass through our front doors."

Ability to swear in four languages.

Although you've cut your average call time down to an incredible four seconds, management keeps reminding you about your 97% hang-up rate.

Just five minutes on the job and you've already explored how difficult it is to fit the phone headset over your ass.

You have a running joke with your colleagues about how every sentence sounds much funnier when you add "up your butt" to the end.

You are extremely polite, relentlessly cheerful, stunningly competent and startlingly efficient.

Old football injury left you with a permanently-extended middle finger.

Your idea of "resolving customer disputes" involves rubber gloves, a tube of K- Y and a live armadillo.

You enjoy all of God's wonderful creations. Except, well, people.

Flatulence is okay, but not into the receiver.

and the Number 1 Sign You're Not Cut Out to Be in Customer Service...

At your last job processing detainees at Guantanamo Bay, you made the prisoners cry

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